[germloucks2]

My first question/discussion that i will pose to all of you, is a battle that ive been fighting for a long time.

I was born and raised Southern Baptist, and i claim strong roots into christianity via this upbringing.

However, these recent years have changed a lot of my views on religion.. and frankly, God in general. There is still a lot more that i still dont understand, and that i struggle to rationalize.

My experience with my homosexuality, and battles with addiction, had pushed me away from religion (which i suspect is not uncommon.) In my recovery, i have embraced the ideology of the 12 step recovery programs of AA/NA; in which a broader understanding of God is used. In fact, many times "A power greater than ourselves" and "God, as we may understand him" are used. Principles of "Attraction rather than promotion" are used.

I guess, what i am getting at is how much this puts me at conflict with my past. I was brought up to believe that only through accepting certain christian principles, will you achieve salvation through the ONE and ONLY god, as he has made himself known.

I see all the evidence for a God of our understanding, and how comforting this fact is, to me. But i find it hard to break from my past, and most certainly the fear! The fear that if i embrace these principles, im gonna pay for it.

I see people of all walks of life, believing in all sorts of religions. One thing is true amongst all of them. they, each and every one of them, believe that they are right. They will cite all sorts of empirical/religious/spiritual/logical evidence for believing as they do... Which points a big finger at a more universal idea of God.


I guess i am seeking the truth. However, i am seriously conflicted about it. I want to break free of religion in general, and embrace a completely spiritual point of view. I want to worship God, as i understand him, and as he has revealed himself to me.


Maybe some of you guys can offer some insight into this?