Thanks for responding guys. Although I take no pleasure in your pain, it is good to know that I'm not in this situation alone.
Right now how I am feeling is that ABSOLUTELY NO ONE should ever be put in this situation. No one should have to choose between him/herself and their unaccepting family. I devote way too much energy to this conundrum which I cannot win. I could be developing myself in other ways, but instead I spend my days wondering if it is possible to have a relationship with my family and retain an ounce of love for myself. I have had absolutely no support from anyone in my family. I love them dearly, but can't bare the thought of continuing to put on the mask they think is me (the person they are able to tolerate and accept). It's just too difficult... and results in some really messed up states of mind. For a long time, this is what I did, and I developed really debilitating conditions, and at my most vulnerable time, my sisters actually told me that I caused it because of my SIN.
And yet, i see growth happening. For a long time I just rolled with it. I just split myself in half trying to maintain a relationship with them and also be true to myself. I ultimately crashed, had a breakdown and took 3 months off work. Now I'm at a point of being angry for the first time, which is good. I just have no idea what the next step is. And I'm feeling conflicting urges.. part of me wants to shut them out completely, and the other wants to call them and try to forge some kind of new peace. Maybe the path lies somewhere in the middle. I don't know. I do know that I'm tired of being a doormat and I reject any god that thinks I need to kill my true self in order to be whole or holy.