Originally Posted by paul
I actually fear being bisexual because many see bisexual people as people who have a choice. For a bisexual to choose is like saying: "which to you want to keep, your right arm or your left arm."
As Zerbie is trying to explain, it isn't like you have this wonderful choice and you can go either way, rather, you feel a loss if you don't have both. Just like you would have a real void if you were forced to be with a woman, a bisexual person has a very real void if they don't have both.
I think it is harder to be bisexual than it is to be gay in some respects.
OMGYES. You put it SO WELL. I would love to even expand on that to show you how much I agree with you, but that's so eloquently put I don't even have the ability.
Zerbie addressed all of my major concerns after I read the initial post, so I wasn't even going to say anything, but... well, yes. Being bi is difficult, because some people DO see us as having a choice, and no, it's really like having two of your very favorite dishes set down in front of you and being told you can't have both. (Which is why I'm a fan of the idea of polyfidelity, but you wanna talk about being even MORE of an outcast...)
It's frustrating for me because a lot of lesbian women refuse to date bisexual women, thinking they'll be left for a man eventually (as if it makes them more likely to be abandoned than if another lesbian woman might abandon them for another woman), and a lot of straight guys think it's "cool" to have a girlfriend who's bi because they think they'll get their own live girl-on-girl sex show whenever they want. Eerrr...no?
So, yeah. A friend of mine has been joking about buying me a shirt that says "Bisexual Blues: We love everybody and nobody loves us." And while that's an exaggeration, it feels true sometimes. So I'm glad to see that the whole issue has been clarified, because it's oh-so-easy to be paranoid when you're used to getting criticized by both sides of the "fence."