Originally Posted by Zerbie
Wow, this thread just gets curioser and curiouser!!!
Speaking for me, I do not need to have ongoing relationships with partners of both sexes. I did though need to explore dating relationships with both sexes in my young single days in order to know exactly where I stood, orientationally, and how I function in relationship. Once I knew, the only matter was finding out who my partner would be, and then settling down.
Anyway, I had a VERY hard time coming out as bisexual. From my pov it would have been easier to come out as lesbian. Oh, wait, I DID that. Did that first, then came out to myself, and a year later was finally able to accept that the term "bisexual" appeared to fit. I spent about a decade rejecting the BI label, because I had real problems with it.
Curioser indeed, Zerbie. Now that I've said what I said, I guess I need to clarify some stuff. This is all in the interest of honesty and seeing clearly, the eternal process it seems.
There was a point when I actually called myself (to myself) bisexual. I'll take a coin from the ex-gay bank to try and splain. "Gender confusion." I think that's a real phenomenom, but the ex-gay movement has turned it topsy-turvy. That is to say, by taking a real orientation ("gay") and trying to straighten it out, they've caused a great deal of confusion. I know this first hand, as you know, because up until a year and a half ago I believed they were right. So, it's pretty logical that, at this early juncture, I'm still figuring some things out. I'm just being very honest. I have spent my entire life married to a woman, after all, so I have to be a little suspicious that I might just be a closeted bisexual
. Still, I do currently identify as "gay" because it seems a pretty safe bet. My wife is the only woman I have ever been with, heck, she's the only woman I ever kissed. My biggest clue, insight, comes from my dream life. When I have 'those' kind of dreams (from the time I started having them as a kid), it's never been with a woman, always a guy. I consider dreams to be where the veil is removed and we can discover what's really there. So, I'm probably not bi, just a mal-adjusted gay.
People who are ssa don't just have the ramifications of the closet to deal with. We do all venture forth from the closet. One of the articles of clothing that many of us keep/kept in our closets, for going out in, was/is a straight jacket (i need to copyright that one