[scrupulous_stoic]

Well, perhaps it would be best to start with a prologue of sorts. My upbringing was never religious during my early years, but soon changed when my mother met my step-father. He was Mormon, and though he did not follow all of the regulations, he still adhered to the one suggesting only dating other Mormons. Thus, after six months or so of dating, my mom was baptized. After that, it seemed that not only did my parents want my to find solace in their faith, but the local LDS community also had an eye on me as a potential convert, though I had no interest in Christianity, let alone the Mormon faith. So, I was required to read the Bible and Book of Mormon before doing activities I enjoyed. I didnt like it at first, but actually am I happy I did, because I learned much from my readings. Later, I was told I'd be going to church for now on. I stubbornly went, and after a while I tolerated it. I took the missionary discussions, and then stopped after I was informed I had a record kept, as well as my questioning of erronous historical stories in the Book of Mormon. Then the bishop, who was interested in converting me since my mother was baptized, informed me that apparently I had a baptism date, even though baptism in the Mormon church, as well as any of church, is voluntary and not forced upon you. After that, I loathed my church attendence, as I was labeled "anti-Mormon" by the other teenagers for my refusal of baptism. The only one who had no qualms with my lack of interest was my step-brother, who to this day is closer to me than anyone, save my mother. Then came the finis valde: in June of my Junior year of high school, the LDS church asked all the congregations in America to oppose same-sex marriage by supporting the Marriage Amendment. I was furious; I was already open about my sexuality, and was informed by various church leaders that the Mormon church did not try to influence politics. However, later examination and delving into news articles would point that the Mormon church has always influenced politics concerning social values, as they financially supported legislation in California attacking same-sex couples. My mother, who understood my frustration, agreed that I no longer needed to go to church, and thus began my studies. I have had an interest in Buddhism for years, and still cling to the philosophical teachings of it. The same goes for Hinduism, which I recently found quite alluring, and Taoism. I read the Qu'ran, but did not find any sort of connection to it, though I found it quite poetic. I also read The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins, and though I applaud his scientific reasoning, I found him to be as extreme as a fervent and uncompromising evangelical. However, I have found that the Pagan faiths are pulling me, most especially two: Hellenion and the heathen Asatru. Hellenion is the reconstructed religion of the Greeks, and Asatru the Norse.

As for faith, I think that perhaps some things have no explanation, but I also take in account that, as our eyes are bombarded by millions of impulses, only a few thousand are inputed, giving us quite an incomplete picture. I do not know if I could just let go.