Originally Posted by pnggrad79
Thank U-dog, I am feeling a wide range of emotions right now. Last night, I was in shock and my wife told me to just not say anything to her this morning. Right now, I am livid with her ex boyfriend and I think if I saw him, my wife would have to hold me back, because I really want to punch him. Part of me is angry with my daughter, but I know why she did it. But I have been judged too often and I don't want to put her in the same shoes I have often stood in myself. It is not fun to have fingers pointed at you.
I just don't know where to go from here...This is a door I never thought I would have to walk through, and I don't know what to do. Now I am here, and unfortunately, she didn't come with an instruction manual.
Her sharing this with you and you responding with love and understanding (and anger directed outward on her behalf) is a bonding experience between the two of you which can only strengthen your relationship. If you have the opportunity to speak further to her about her sexuality, try to make it a positively directed conversation. Share with her what your own sexuality means to you. What it does for you and for your relationship with your wife. Give her an opportunity to talk about what she wants to get out of her own sexuality.
So often we talk to kids about what they CAN or CAN'T do (which is silly since they can do pretty much whatever they want!) I think it is so much better when we can talk about what sex IS ... what it is FOR... what it can offer us. If all we want is an orgasm... shit... we don't need a(nother)boy for that or a(nother) girl. That can be accomplished very safely all by ourselves! But if sex is about relationship and drawing close to another person and sharing our deepest and most vulnerable selves... then we will want to chose our partner carefully and to wait for someone particularly special.
I don't know... just my thoughts. seems like you have an opportunity here for some really good connecting. Good luck!