Quote:
Originally Posted by chuck2pastor
My wife is aware of my attraction to men, but we don't discuss it; we're together for the sake of the kids, who are 16 and 18. I am not ready to tell my daughters that I'm gay, but when I am ready, I will certainly want to know how you and others handled the situation. They've become homophobic over the years, so I really don't know how they'll react. I'm just taking it one day at a time.
Peace,
Chuck
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chuck2pastor
My wife is indeed fundamentally homophobic; if there's a gay character in a movie or TV show, she'll refer to him as a fruit or queer. Again and again, she has said that homosexuality is unnatural, just nor right and against the Bible. We can't have a conversation on the subject. And this is where I believe my girls get their homophobia from -- their mother. And some Sunday School teachers.
I don't want to bash my wie-- she is wonderful in a lot of other ways.
We have no definite plans to separate when the girls leave home, it's not a done deal.
I am not sure how long I can remain married to someone who despises a very important part of who I am.
Peace,
Chuck
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the combination of these statements is raising all kinds of red flags for me. Your wife knows of your attraction to men, but feels compelled to take every opportunity to make anti-gay, homophobic remarks. She does this knowing that you have those attractions. This sounds like abuse to me. It touched something in my memory about the way my (now ex) wife behaved in our relationship. It was only after I left the marriage that a counselor helped me see that regardless of my orientation, I was in a bad marriage. Don't allow your spouse to bully you. Should the marriage dissolve, she may use your guilt about your orientation to extort you and force you to give up much more than you should. Don't fall for the emotional blackmail, although, from what you've written, it seems to be happening already.