Originally Posted by chuck2pastor
My wife is indeed fundamentally homophobic; if there's a gay character in a movie or TV show, she'll refer to him as a fruit or queer. Again and again, she has said that homosexuality is unnatural, just nor right and against the Bible. We can't have a conversation on the subject. And this is where I believe my girls get their homophobia from -- their mother. And some Sunday School teachers.
I don't want to bash my wie-- she is wonderful in a lot of other ways.
We have no definite plans to separate when the girls leave home, it's not a done deal.
I am not sure how long I can remain married to someone who despises a very important part of who I am.
Understood. In light of what Keltic points out, I think your last statement here is the crux of the matter.
It disturbs me too that your wife, however wonderful she is in other ways, would say exceedingly negative things about gay men *knowing* that you yourself are one. That strikes me as very hurtful. Perhaps the homophobia/gay bashing is such an old habit that she literally has not put 2 and 2 together. Or perhaps she is angry that you like men, and this is her way of expressing anger indirectly.
I couldn't know, just speculating. But the important matter is, as long as you two decide to remain together, you each have a right to have your fundamental human nature and your deep personal feelings treated with respect.