The more I read of your current situation, the more grateful I am to God that you found us here- a safe haven for you, may I say, in the turmoil of your present life circumstances. Although I cannot identify on a personal level with your experience, as many others here can, I will offer my genuine support, as well as no judgment in how you need to proceed. That is what is so heartwarming about this place; we find what we need, even when we don't know that we need it, and it comes without judgment, even if it does come with firm guidance. If you pray on this yourself, I am sure that God would let you know this is the right place to be. He has let me know more than a few times.......
Hang in there.......