Don't you know that the only safe sex, according to our reigning government gurus who determine funding for safe sex programs, is NO sex. "Abstinence only" is the only way to ensure that you will be safe - unloved, perennially bad-tempered, easily swayed into harmful behavior due to overconcentration on things like foot-tapping, even having a wide stance in the john, maybe - but you'll be safe.
Actually, that kind of protection is more widely applicable to living safely. If we don't encourage social intercourse at all, we wouldn't have any violence. Everyone should have their own private places, complete with high walls and plastic bubble enclosures. Work should be performed in the safety of our own hermetically sealed home offices to minimize cross-contamination with other dangerous organic units.
If we did that, we would all be completely safe. We would also have great fun making balloon creatures for ourselves out of all those rubbers we wouldn't need for anything else.
Okay, I feel better. Had to rant - had a conversation today with someone who had been denied funding for a healthy sex program because they actually wanted to talk about sex.
- Andy's blog
Sins are always worse when they're different than mine