Big hugs!
((((( Chuck )))))
You got it.
My heart goes out to you, dealing with such things. Never having been in any similar situation, and not knowing you or your wife, I wouldn't dare to advise. You mentioned earlier that there was some abuse. You might want to bounce around with someone with some expertise dealing with troubled/abusive relationships to get their tips on most effective ways to go about the process of deciding to leave/how to leave, etc., since it sounds like that is what you are thinking of doing. It might help carry you through the difficult time to have a caring voice walk you through what worked/didn't work for them, for other guys in similar situations, etc.
You definitely have our prayers and best wishes. May the process be as minimally painful for all involved as it can possibly be.