Originally Posted by andrewlittle
The overarching problem is not that different people have made different choices, but that people have to make choices in the first place. The problem is a system in which being fully authentic is not possible. Another problem is that people who make choices might denigrate those who make different choices. When this happens, the system wins.
Personally, I find this talk about what is authentic and what isn't to be troubling. It sounds very self-righteous, self-indulgent and divisive. It also does nothing to help the person who came here looking for community and help during a difficult time in their lives.
RE the part in bold: BRILLIANT! Andy, this is incredibly insightful and it gets to the core of some conflicts we as a group run across from time to time - conflicts which really can raise some tension among us.
I think it's correct that the flawed 'system' wins when this happens to us. We lose solidarity when that happens to us.
Andy - I vote for you making that paragraph your new signature quote. I would love to see this quoted every day. If you don't make it a signature, well, perhaps I will.
But I don't wanna ditch the Rumi, either.
Regarding your last paragraph, that is what bothered me too. I would prefer that we be here as a supportive resource and group of friends to one another, including respect for an individual's personal choice to remain 'closeted.' That is more important (at least, it is to me) than philosophies and ideologies, even important ones. The point is to serve the human being.
The danger with an ideology is when we find one that serves us, we think we've found that which will serve everyone else, and we mistake it, in a way almost as a panacea or universal rule, when in fact it was only the best of several options for us, individually. Another individual's best option may be one that was not good for us.
Regarding our disagreement with Antony, whom I love, I also think it's really clear that Antony speaks the way he does out of a desire to preserve and protect others from pain and great emotional cost, and to help make that flawed system obsolete. But Antony: I agree with Chuck & Andy that there is no one always 'correct' option. As Andy points out, either 'choice' is one not made in freedom but made under duress. If we miss this point, the 'system' that constrained our choices remains intact.