View Single Post
  #51  
Old 05-30-2008, 09:24 AM
Zerbie's Avatar
Zerbie Zerbie is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 5,470
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NathanATX View Post
You're totally reading my mind.

Lately, I've been saying I'm bi-curious. I know I'm mostly gay, but an itsy bit bi...

I'm very hesitant to explore the bisexuality aspect because I am really in touch with how overwhelmingly gay... (I know, I know)... I am. Would it be fair/right/ethical to explore that with a woman when I KNOW that I am much more powerfully/romantically/sexually drawn to men?



Nate, I think you are totally brave to discuss this openly.

The only thing I can think of being unfair would be if you kept a partner in the dark about this sort of question being on your mind, which I cannot imagine you doing. Exploring relationship only makes sense.

I dated both men and women when I was single. Y'know what? I wish I had understood at the time that, yes, I was bisexual. Instead I flip-flopped, coming out as lesbian when I dated girls and pretending to be (or thinking I had been confused, and really *was*) straight when I dated boys. That ultimately didn't turn out to work so great, in hindsight, - but I was young and scared out of my mind. You have a great deal more maturity and courage than that. You will know what is fair and what is ethical. I trust that about you, Nate.


Quote:
Originally Posted by paul View Post
mostly bisexuality flies in the face of monogamy... yet another sacred cow to slay.


paul
Can we clarify that statement? It does not at all apply to me, and I get irritated at the poor people who have been led to believe that bisexual is a behavior pattern rather than an orientation.

You and I talked privately about whether there might be two "types" of bisexuals. Perhaps that point needs to be raised and considered publicly as well. (I"m really close to biting off the head of the next person who suggests that if I'm not having sex with women outside my marriage to my husband, that I am not really bisexual because I am not "practicing." (That word out to evoke shades of right-wingers labeling some "practicing" homosexuals." )
__________________
***
Never linger too long with the ignorant,
throw stones at their talk.
Walk only with the lovers,
the mirror of the soul gets rusty when
dipped in muddy water.


-Rumi
Reply With Quote