Welcome, Jen.
You've found a safe place here.
I wonder if perhaps you might just need more time developing your life on your own, without striving for the approval or even the understanding, of your parents. Not sure if this is correct, but I have the impression that you're still young and fairly fresh out of college. If you haven't been living away from them for very long, time may do a lot for you.
Otoh, if you've been on your own for a while and there is still such a distance between you and your parents, perhaps this *is* the time to more actively pursue a better communication with them and perhaps come to some kind of reconciliation. Can you improve the communication in other ways, on other issues besides this one? Develop more rapport with them before broaching this issue again?
If you decide you're ready to really pursue a deeper communication with your parents about being lesbian, then I would suggest building a 3D support network of friends and 'parent surrogates.' I would suggest contacting PFLAG - there are often some very parental, warm, friendly folk in local PFLAG chapters who will be there for you, and give you the parents' perspective on what coming out feels like.
Good luck with this!
Keep us updated on how you're doing.
Zerbie
PS: Take a deep breath. You'll be *fine.*