I believe circumstances will dictate the appropriate moment WHEN. Rather than submitting your own sexual intimacy for judgement according to standards widely promoted in the US (a very Puritan - incidentally, I would say 'unnatural' - set of sexual mores), trust your inner voice to tell you when. Considering we don't have legal recognition of same-sex partnerships, those who are in those relationships have to set the "rules" for themselves that best suit the ethical and personal beliefs/mood/readiness of both partners.
As in any largely defined "community," the gay community like the straight community (whatever those terms mean) is going to vary wildly in sexual mores. You need to set parameters for yourself about when/with whom you feel comfortable being intimate, and respect the needs/boundaries of your partner when you are sexually active.