Keltic, I've been following this thread for 24 hours and while I have absolutely NO knowledge of what you are going thru, wanted to pop in and offer ya some hugs and well wishes.
From this and previous threads it sounds like the ex has some serious personality/behavior issues and I'm very sorry for your kids for having to live with it. Unfortunately, vitriol is all too common in our culture. It's upsetting just witnessing this from a distance. If I was in the middle of it I would have to be committed to a padded cell.
I wish you and your family all the best possible outcome and pray that you will all live in peace very soon.