Originally Posted by keltic63
I was hoping the discussion would help me get the concepts in my head a little more clearly. Anyone ever do any work with this stuff
I have not used TA exactly, but I do remember learning about this some in undergraduate school for social work. However, I do use some of the basic concepts often in my therapy group where I work in an in-patient substance abuse clinic.
As a matter of fact, just this week I had one of my clients use the very "game" referred to above. I call it the "yes, but" response. This particular client asked the group for help with an issue and when everyone was offering feedback he was constantly saying "but" and then staying stuck in his problem. He seemed to have no real interest in getting out of the problem and into the solutions that were being offered to him. I simply pointed this out to him. I told him, "You are asking for our help and the guys are trying to give you some suggestions, yet you keep saying 'but.' That little word basically means that you are negating everything they are telling you. You are saying, 'yes, but.' 'Yes I hear you, but this is what I think.'"
He has used this very strategy a few times since then as well. My approach is to keep letting him know that we see this "game" that he is playing and to help him to see how ineffective it is. If I and his peers continue to reflect this back to him than eventually he might get the picture and change this dysfunctional communication style. My goal is not to get frustrated with him, but to be compassionately persistent in my feedback to him about his behavior.
I can certainly see how this approach would be useful in our interactions with others in the non-violent approach to human rights. We can become conscious of the many "games that people play" and learn how best to respond to them instead of react to them.