Guess my sexuality may be a bigger issue than I thought.
I updated my status on facebook to say, '"I found out my dad admitted he has a problem with "flamers." Guess he didn't think about ME when he said that. :[ At least God still loves me."
Shortly after, I got a phone call from a friend from church, kindly warning that, since I am part of a missions team, it may not be a good idea to mention that stuff, whether online or around the church group. I thanked him for being kind enough and honest enough to say something, but I felt like crying. I'm not one to cease from expressing myself in my truest form, yet I feel like, with this missions trip, I may have to.
I also have a possible job with a missions organization that would send me overseas to teach, and I do not want to risk that for anything; I seriously believe that's where God wants me to be. But one simple comment could change that all, simply because I am who I am. That seriously makes me mad. I'm not gay [I'm bi] but I could be perceived that way, and since my church is ex-gay, and possibly my new co-workers/bosses gay-wary, some things about me just won't jive.
I don't know guys; I just didn't expect this. It hurts. I don't understand why so many people have to see us in the wrong. All I know is that I am not a sinner because of my sexuality; maybe someday the ones against us will figure that out.
