First off, of course, I must say that if my advice doesn't feel right, and/or if exploring the idea doesn't seem to lead you to where you think you want to go, don't give it another thought.
Have you thought about moving to a big city, far enough from your former life so that you have some freedom of movement? A place where there will be communities of faith that you can explore, get some support from, and find one that nurtures and accepts you.
There will also be an LGBT community, with many different aspects, that will appeal to many different types of people. I have found such a community to be a wonderful place to sort out what my own inclinations are, and what types of people are a best fit for me.
There should also be organizations and groups that focus on gay Christian people, and those who want to grow as gay Christians.
This is what seems to have worked for me, and I don't know what will work for you, but if you need these resources, a big city is about the only place you will find them.
O.K., I admit that gay people rarely get hasseled in Minneapolis, and I'm hopelessly biased, but that is the best I have to offer. I wish you good luck on your quest.
One More Gay Friendly Church Resource:
Peace and Love, Bruce Chris