"Give me chastity, but not yet." ~ St. Augustine
Which reminds me of a favorite joke, slightly sacreligious, the best kind:
Jesus and his disciples came upon a crowd at the gate of the city. The people had dragged a woman there who was about to be stoned to death, accused of adultery.
Suddenly, Jesus broke through the crowd, yelling, "STOP! Let the one who is without sin among you throw the first stone."
A hush fell over the crowd. After a moment a huge rock comes flying from the back of the crowd, knocks the poor woman in the head and kills her instantly.
"Oh,
Mother!" Jesus exclaimed, "Sometimes you are just too much."
[from the apocryphal Gospel of Cynicus, CE 2006] 