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Old 02-15-2009, 08:20 PM
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Zerbie Zerbie is offline
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Originally Posted by tymejumper View Post
Zerbie,
Thankyou for your understanding and words of wisdom.

I can not resolve in myself, personally, why a person would go outside of themselves to try to take more things from me because of who I love. Why they would wish to put my life in danger with their lies. How can they say they are Christian? I hear about these types of things and I cry. It hurts me that someone can hate me so much

:love :

(((((( Rebekkah ))))))


I am struggling with my anger and sadness to the point I am honestly considering going back for a few therapy sessions to work things through.

If you think it might help you feel better and be healthier emotionally, then why not?



I take alot before I get angry, but I am angry for awhile once I do get to that point. I tend to not be very forgiving once I am there. Not one of my best quailties, but one I realize that is inherently me. I have meditated on it often.

Some things are inherent to the personality. I read about Myers-Briggs (the personality profiles) and they mention at least one type that does not anger at all easily, in fact is extremely difficult to anger. But once something pushes them to a certain point, well God forbid, because then the anger is blinding and they are, to put it mildly, quite unfriendly in that state.

I thought of that from what you wrote. Sometimes personality traits are just built in to the person from birth, and this trait of yours sounds like one of those built in characteristics. If so, then you need to avoid situations that push you over that line, and when those situations CAN'T be avoided, then it is destructive for you. That's why systemic abuses that one can't avoid (like political oppression) are fairly labelled as evil. Extreme destruction on a multitude of levels.

I did not check out the latest from AFA. I've glanced over their materials in the past and found it unvarnished filth.




My wife says it all takes time and just shruggs, saying I will get there soon enough with acceptance. I reminded her that even Jesus Christ got to that point and threw all the rich preachers out of the temple in anger.

Yes.

A person can turn the other cheek and take the high road, but a human being only has 4 cheeks. You run out of patience and understanding and build up a healthy dose of anger.

Yes. Healthy anger is anger that is justified because it alerts you to wrongs, abuses, violations either physical or psychological. But it becomes unhealthy when it stays with us long-term, even if in response to a long-term unhealthy situation. The hormones the body secretes in anger can tear the body down if activated long term.

People say to not go down to their level, but you can't act honorably with someone who will stop at nothing to take everything from you. They are in the gutter and sometimes you have to go down there to get the point across about what they are doing.

I disagree that one can't act honorably. It's true you can't sit back and be all quiet, meek, and sweet. Even if we're angry though, we can - and have to - make sure that whatever we speak is true because there are people out there listening to the whole argument. Those people are going to figure out which side they want to support based on what they see and hear coming from the two sides.

When I was a teenager, 'gays in the military' was a constant political refrain. I had to walk past an ROTC recruitment post daily. There were gay activists protesting the ROTC, also there daily. What I saw every morning (at 7:30, ugh!) was a group of people in fatigues screaming invective at a group of gay activists who stood there red-faced screaming invectives right back.
While my first thought was that I supported the activists because I supported the right to serve in military, I began to question why I supported people who just stood around and screamed like a**holes all morning. The effect the whole scene had on me was to make me put off joining any activist group for about 5 years, since the impression I had was that activists are " all just a**holes."
You don't want to push away those who would like to support us but are insecure and hesitant. You want to be someone they admire and want to be around. That empowers them to speak out for equality also from within their personal context.
When we're in an argument with the AFA, we aren't really speaking to the AFA. We are speaking to the general public who is listening for what we are going to say, and evaluating the content of our responses.

I'm not saying we can never speak about our anger, or from our anger. Just that whatever we say must be true, and it must come from a desire for the right and good outcome, never sacrificing our own truth to get to an outcome. In the example you cited, Jesus acted out of anger because the sanctity of a worship temple was being polluted, and in his anger, he swept the place clear of those things that distracted from the goal (the goal being worship of the divine.) We can act from anger as long as the actions we choose embody right values. Like justice. Like equality. Like the all-American principle of fairness. Speaking only true things is one of those values.





I have joined with a small group here in the Grand Rapids area of like minded people who wish to change things for LGBT people. We have all emailed others to hit WOOD-TV site and send letters, I would like to believe that we made a difference. We also have done several protests that have been covered by the local news stations here. I have fired off letter after letter to the press editorials, and had them all published, but I do not know if they really make a difference except for the oppourtunity to vent my spleen a bit.

This is great! That's a healthy way to channel your energy, and it helps the community around you. Win-win.



I only know that there is nothing wrong, or sinful or against God as anyone would understand him/her, with me being gay and I am not about to act ashamed for who I am or love.

Much Metta
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Never linger too long with the ignorant,
throw stones at their talk.
Walk only with the lovers,
the mirror of the soul gets rusty when
dipped in muddy water.


-Rumi
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