I just came across this primer on transgender issues, it seems to be a good starting place for people.
In my queer club we started to say our preferred pronoun when we said our name at the beginning of the meeting. We hope it makes a trans-friendly space. Also our drag ball is "Transformed" so as not to reinforce the gender binary. We've got nothing against drag, of course... but nobody needs to be bound by the binary.
Also, I've met Kate Bornstein and she is amaaaazing!