You got your Freshmen in my Genre!
I agree. I want to be able to share my Advocate with my mom without censoring the sleaze factor first. Or be proud of more than that one third of the parade.
Whether or not we like it, Gay=Sex. We are attracted to either the qualities of masculine or feminine, and have deep, equivalent feelings and emotions of love and all that entails far beyond the crassness of mingled flesh. But boiled down, and where the rubber meets the road, we demonstrate, or prove our gayness, between the sheets. Straights can pass for straights up to that point, then theirs no going back.
It is not surprising that because we are rejected for this final dirty deed, once we find acceptance in it, the need to grow from there is far less pressing. Thus the "I'm a gay Realtor", "I'm a gay teacher", "I'm a gay whatever", instead of, "I'm a whatever", who happens to be gay should it come up.
I started the 'Where You At' thread as a partial response to where this topic may lead. Incorporating your homosexuality (the last stage) into being just a part of your identity is a difficult step, especially for gay activists, when so much of the focus MUST stay locked there, in order to remain driving and passionate... Healthy? Necessary? Helpful? ...tough call.