[tdogg]

Standing with the community (and media) just before, during and after the decision, it was very difficult. Painful. Heartbreaking. Tears and more tears, hugs, all the while attempting to maintain some sort of positive aura to gear up to continue our fight. We are a little tired today. It was hard to muster up 'positive'.

Although this was the decision I anticipated, there is no logic in it. One could say there is an 'in' to proceed, and in some ways that is right. I believe they took the easy way out, trying to give some satisfaction to both sides. I was one of the lucky folks who were able to get married between the May 2008 decision and November 4th. I'm being congratulated and told exactly how lucky I am, mainly by straight well-meaning folks and some pro-Prop 8'ers.

Well, it doesn't feel so lucky. It doesn't feel good. I take nothing away from my wife and I, are marriage or our wonderful wedding day. But it does have a slightly 'not so right' tinge to it. I am married, while some of my best friends do not have that right. It makes no sense, I can find no reasoning in the decision. I'm curious to read the opinions, but can't do it right now. I do understand the decision today was whether or not Prop 8 was a lawful amendment or a revision, not whether Prop 8 is a good or bad thing. That helps, every so slightly.

It was an awful moment, the moment the decision came down. Followed, for me by shock, a feeling of surreal and then grief. As a community we came together to grief and support each other. And that is where we need to go on from. Together, as a community. Which includes our straight allies. From here, we gather steam, we grab onto the momentum, and we push forward. It will take a lot of hard work, more tears, some sweat and probably even some blood. But it's coming. Full equality is coming to CA and to this country.

When DOMA is repealed, I believe we shall see our greatest progress and most glorious triumphs. The state-by-state fight is tiresome, going back and forth and never really feeling completely done. By working to repeal DOMA, we can get this done faster and more widespread. I'm in CA and working to continue the fight to repeal Prop 8. But my personal struggle in this will never cease until each and every citizen of this country has nothing less than the full and equal rights, privileges and protections as the next. Tonight, we protest, march & rally. From there, we live out and proud, working together and individually to bring justice and equality to all.