It was so interesting when I came out to my family, all of a sudden, after 40 years of knowing me inside and out, (pardon the pun), I was a pariah. My sisters who had let their sons stay with me for weeks that preceding summer, were horrified that their sons were "exposed" to homosexuality, as if I paraded them into my bedroom for a peep show. And as if I forced them to read my Advocate, and all the books I have on Lesbian/Gay relationships. And as if as I tucked them into bed at night (they were 3 and 4 at the time) I whispered, "You are going to grow up and be a flaming homo". All of a sudden that was the picture they painted of me, despite everything I had done up to that point to the contrary. All of a sudden I was a sex crazed nymphomaniac and could not be around children. To this day, my nephews are 5 and 6 and my sister will not even send me pictures of them, as if somehow by looking at the pictures, I will turn my nephews into Nate Berkus or Christopher Lowell. (my nephews should be so lucky)
I could only laugh because it is so preposterous and ludicrous. Somehow it all goes back to what I do in the bedroom, which by the way, to clear up any confusion, I do not publicize it nor do I talk about it to anyone. But now all of a sudden I am a villain.
I think Keltic is right-the glbt community has been on the outside for so long, it says, "I am going to hell anyway, might as well enjoy life now." I say that the glbt community is a monster society at large has created, and it doesn't like what it has created. They throw us out of their families, their colleges, and their churches because they say we a vile creatures, abominations, so we live up to that label.
In reality, 90% of us aren't like the labels placed on us. What I do in the bedroom is mine and my wife's business. Other than that, I am as normal as apple pie. I pay taxes to a government that does not grant me equal rights, I go to work for a homophobic school that would fire me if they knew I was gay, I go to church, an affirming church, and that is the only safe place in my world for me to be who I am. I live like everyone else.
I am tired of being blasted for 5% of my life (my sex life) and everything else that I do is ignored or colored by the 5%. I am more than that what I do in the bedroom.