Originally Posted by awediot
I was beyond being merely religious and over the boxing in of labels... I was part of God Itself.
I didn't so much shun the title of Christian, I transcended it... Those who insisted I actually describe the "believe me alone or go to Hell" ultimatum Christ hacked us in two with, were beneath me fear mongerers who I had a duty to enlighten... then it came crashing down in a blinding flash that made more sense than I could stand... But thats just me.
Hello again, old friend.
If it is not too personal for you to share, would you consider telling us about the nature of the blinding flash and what it was that caused such a sea change in your perception? Why it meant what it did?
Regarding whatever has brought you back here again, I can only repeat that the internet is the internet: one site is as safe as any, and I know you have the thick skin to 'take' all manner of responses. I can only invite you to follow your inclination and if you feel tempted to share some thoughts here, you are most welcome to do so.
Some have mentioned before how this forum is in flux. Certainly. For me also it is. Once a fit like the proverbial glove, this forum has lost most interest and appeal for me. This is my first post in a month. I do not know how much I will be back in future. I am not sure whether the forum changed or whether I did: both, probably.
As for sharing your personal stuff with the environment of your conversation in flux, well how is that much different from the rest of life?
I am sure you are not the only conservative Christian who is gay, and while I can imagine how it might be difficult to find gay folks who share similar theology or similarly minded Christians who accept homosexuality or take you at your word for your personal truth, I also know you cannot be completely alone in this world. Not possible. There are others more or less like you, though none else with your precise uniqueness. That is what makes you such a joy and treasure, at the same time that relating smoothly with you is for us, on occasion, a bit difficult. I wouldn't say that if I did not know how already aware you are of that element of our collective online 'friendship.'
I would focus on the fruits of your relationships with other people rather than on the specifics of their credo. If there are things you appreciate, love, enjoy, respect about certain folk, then enjoy them. Live life. Then, when you do meet someone who really has a philosophical/theological complementarity with yourself, what a precious, dear companion and confidante you shall have. Not everyone need be your closest intimate, nor need everyone be relegated to a distance.
Anyway, feel yourself welcome.