There you are! I couldn't believe you hadn't posted in a month... I chalked it up your traveling (which I read a blurb about somewhere)... but guess not... You, Jen and Emproph (WHO'S BEEN IGNORING ME!!!
) Were the three I most wanted to see...so, cool. I really hope your doing great and life is good...
Thank you, old buddy. Life is wonderful.
I will...I think I have around here somewhere...but it is a long story (more a testimonial), so give it time... Suffice it say for now that I realized I was doing exactly what the Bible vehemently warned about, and my life reflected it.
You were 'doing' what the Bible warned about????
I didn't like what I saw,
Then I am glad you changed some things and found a path that is right for you.
Why your new found disinterest? The battle over? The methods questionable? The philosophy uninspiring? -I'm really interested...
No such things at all.
It is not my time to be here much, that is all. This is not a time for activism for me, nor is it much of a time for socialization. It is an inward time.
I know there are quite a few who share my cerebral dissonance and hold to a nonexistent middle ground that both pisses off Christians and gays. I'm not active and angry enough for most queers, and they feel betrayed by my support of Christianity; and I'm way to heretical and faithless for most Christians (whether they know I'm unapologetically gay or not)... but whaaah, po' po' pitiful me... I wouldn't change it if I could.
Nay, and ya should not.
However, I doubt "most" queers would really demand you be 'angry' (good heavens, what a useless way to be) or even to be politically active. It is a minority of LGBTs who are politically active. Cannot speak to the "Christian" side of the coin, I suppose it depends upon how narrowly you define "Christian," as there are thousands who consider themselves Christian who will stand up for their gay brothers like you.
I think you need to go out and meet some less polarized acquaintances. You have been hanging out with either a fairly far left crowd, or a quite far to the right crowd, and lamenting the dissonance. Most Americans are somewhere in the middle - get out of the apologist and activist communities for a few months and explore the variety of personalities in the middle.
I discovered I make one rotten cyber friend. Hot and cold, intimately concerned, then demonstrably aloof, and that is not fair to the types of people who are drawn to me and quickly seek virtual friendships (long stories too)
Also an accurate description of your associations -- you are drawn to the CARM religionists, to the angry atheists, to the far left crowd, in alternation. I believe you would find solace by balancing your life out with more of the middle crowd. The middle ground is not boring, Awediot, it is balanced.
Before I leave this conversation, I must add that I will never describe you as "rotten." You will cringe to read this, yes, but you are dear and lovable.
Yes, you are alternately hot and cold, etc., just as you write above. That has been your way, that's all. If you dislike it, then change it. Otherwise, accept it. Your friends already have.
As far as 'relating smoothly'... heh heh heh... This is what Diane, the V.P. right hand madam and Queen moderator on CARM said to me a couple months ago (in a glaring, uber forbidden personal attack that dripped in hypocricy and power tripping) >
"Not only are you lacking common sense....I am convinced you should be hospitalized as borderline psychotic.....FACTS....I am about ready to remove several trolls from this forum, and YOU are the leader."
This is very silly, and goes way beyond the bounds of online communication between strangers. A complete stranger cannot make a psychiatric diagnosis - online!
Dean, imo, that 'community' at CARM is not worth your time.
So the wrong way rub isn't limited to this site (see, I piss off both Christians and queers pretty equally)
Again, find the middle ground. It is larger than the two extremes where you have been spending so much of your time.
I see how false beliefs are causing great and unnecessary harm by the actions they inspire...
Honestly, I don't. But I feel a purpose here for the time being, and that outweighs being liked... This is a way to see and analyze the agenda and motives and means of those I, and you, will be held guilty of by association... So is CARM to me... I'm not a marcher or protester or group prayer. I'm not a good hand on activist, so I seek out the leaders and think tank homes and suggestable members where they go to regroup... This is activism.