a nation of exaggeration
I think I agree to some extent that many people only see the sexual acts when they think of gay people. I've actually heard someone say of a gay friend (without knowing that I was gay) "He's such a great guy, but I can't stand that he does those things with other men." To some, nothing else matters.
Gay women are very different from gay men in society. We're treated very differently - two beautiful women loving each other for the sake of a male observer is the subject of beer commercials, comedy movies, porn for straight men, and more. I think sometimes that it was considered almost natural for women to want to take male roles because it was seen that males were dominant and it's natural to want to upgrade. Conversely, I know a few people who use the word "gay", but shudder at the word "lesbian" as if it's some kind of flesh-eating disease.
No government has the right to tell its citizens when or whom to love. The only queer people are those who don't love anybody.
- Rita Mae Brown