[Pablo Rafael]

Hi Celia,

Welcome to the forums.

Only a few years ago I was a closeted gay who had no intention of ever "coming out". I thought being gay was a sin. It took a lot of effort on the part of God to convince me that being gay was just the way he wanted me to be. It also took some wise Biblical advice from several people to make me realize that the "being gay is a sin" philosophy is not Biblically based. Upon the realization that I was gay and was OK, I thought, "Of course, deep down I knew this all along."

When I "came out", I braced myself for negativity. Almost none came my way. My family and friends have been very supportive and most people thought it was no big deal.

My mom had difficulty with it at the start, but now she has become a strong supporter of gay rights. When she and my boyfriend first met each other, they hit it off. Knowing him has really put my mother's mind at ease. (He is a totally cool guy!). I do not know your mother, but she might get to the same point. I think it is good being honest with one's parents. If I had children, I would want them to talk to me about concerns in their life.

Anyhow, in my long rambling way I am just saying that for me the freedom of being openly who I am and the absence of the stress of being in the closet has been liberating. You might find it the same.

Also I have found a warm, welcoming church home in the Episcopal church. There are places where one can be openly gay and welcomed and valued in the church. Christian AND gay? It's a wonderful combination.

I am sending prayers your way.

Pablo