[drobs]

Keith,

I would recommend you read Strangers at the Gate by Mel White. It will help you better understand what it's like to be gay and christian. It was very helpful to me.

A little about myself...

I grew up a born again christian. Graduated with a BA in Psychology from Bethel College (now called Bethel University) and went to Trinity Evangelical Divinty school for a year to pursue a MDiv. I was outed at my church while grad school. I have not been there (that church) since.

I fought being gay for as long as could and finally after being outed I realized that I was free. I was free from the constant doubt, depression, suicidal thoughts, and general hate for myself. As a christian I had constantly prayed for god to take away those "evil" thoughts, fantasies, and attractions.

God never took those thoughts or attractions away.

For about a year after being outed I attended christian counseling through exodus. The group I was with met 2x a week. 1 was individual counseling, 1 was a group meeting much like an AA meeting.

What I noticed about that group (at least my local branch in Evanston IL) was that they were there as a support group for christians that struggled with being christian and gay. They didn't believe in "miraculous" healings but were there as a sounding board.

I spent a year with the group and realized I was finally happy with who I was - out and gay. I saw no point in going back into a closet of self loathing. Now that I was out I was going to stay out. I learned that god made me the way I am.

One other thing, I note that you come from a pentacostal church. I would be very careful there if I were you. One thing I don't much like about pentacostal churches is they are self centered and seem to draw closed minded people.

Some friends of mine were pentacostal. When I was outed they made it known that they could no longer asscociate with me. They are no longer my friends.