[Pablo Rafael]

I "came out" at the age of 47, so I am one of the very late bloomers. I was probably 37 or so when I first admitted to myself that I was gay. At that time I thought it was an inherent flaw in my character, but I realized there was no way out of it. I was determined to take the secret to the grave with me.

I stumbled upon Mel White's book Stranger at the Gate. I see it now not as an accident, but as God's leading. I read it and started to think that maybe being gay wasn't against the teachings of the Bible. I researched and read and came to the conclusion that deep down I had known all along - I was gay. It was OK. God was not against me.

It was hard coming out to my mom. She has a difficult time with it at first, but responded with love. Over time God has worked in her heart, and she is at peace with the issue as far as I can tell. When she met my boyfriend for the first time, she fell in love with him. (He is quite lovable. )

I waited a year to come out at work. I taught at a conservative Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod school. I thought that coming out would cost me my job which it did. Most people at the school has already figured out I was gay. It seemed no one was upset about it, but they still thought I should go. It was the easiest way for them to solve the problem of an openly gay teacher on staff.

Almost no one was surprised that I was gay. No one has been hostile to me. Friends and relatives have been accepting. There were no family struggles. I have a new job working with wonderful people. My boyfriend and I are working towards the day, hopefully soon, when we will be together.

I lost my job at the LCMS church, but it was a congregation I did not have much affection for in the first place. I was going to a Catholic church at the time. I still am musician there. They know I am gay but just ignore the subject altogether. This year I was confirmed in the Episcopal church. I am in a tiny wonderful congregation. The Episcopal church is a great fit for me. I feel very much at home. I never had any crisis of faith. I knew I was a child of God before coming, out and that has not wavered since.

I don't know who all knows I am gay. I am quiet and keep to myself. I don't share a lot of personal information with people unless they have a reason to know.

The whole coming out process so far has been very positive. I am indeed blessed.