Your dad works for God's representative on earth? Wow. What a job! lol
I can only imagine how fearful you must be about coming out to your family. You'll know when the time is right. You aren't sick, or evil, or sinful because you are gay. You are just as valuable as anyone. I wish you the best as you continue to discover and embrace yourself.
One more thing: I know about depression and suicidal thoughts. Many of us here do. I hope you can find a good counselor to help guide you. I've been seeing a lesbian therapist for 3 years now, and I have no doubt she's saved my life on a number of occasions. Life can be painful, but there's always the "big picture" to keep in mind. Blessings!
"And though I may not know the answers, I can finally say I am free. And if the questions led me here, then I am who I was born to be." --Susan Boyle
"If all fools could fly, the sun would be eclipsed forever." --Dutch proverb