Thank you all so much for your input. I find it very upsetting that the people of my church preach over and over the importance of love and acceptance, but they frown upon it in that Christian-ly I-don't-hate-you-you're-just-wrong-and-I-should-fix-you sort of way. And what makes it so difficult is that there is sometimes not much sensitivity towards the subject when I spoke to my youth leader. (As you could probably guess, because what's more blunt than, 'Your friends are planting seeds of Satan's lies in your brain and you are being blinded by Satan.'?) And I have pretty chronic low self-esteem, and so being rejected in the Christian-ly We-still-love-you-we-just-want-you-to-change-who-you-are sort of way for who I might be doesn't really help. And what makes it thornier is that I am one of the people who I guess has a 'choice', but it's not really, 'I want to be a lesbian' as much as the fact that I have had some bad experiences with boys, and therefore shy away from them. And because of this, my leader is praying that God heals the wounds of my heart, (and probably in turn, lead me back to boys). And since it is more of a 'choice', they probably think they are more justified in trying to change me as I was technically born heterosexual. Oh, and Pablo, I tried explaining my reasoning to her, often relevant to or quoting the Bible, but she was solid in her belief. I feel a bit stubborn for not being willing to change my beliefs, but the church is sort of the one imposing for change, while I just want acceptance. And it's really nice finding a group of Christians who really
don't judge me. It's just frustrating the hypocrisy that my church has, and how closed-minded they are being. And I know this wasn't her intent, but my leader has me feeling guilty about the possibility of being bisexual or lesbian, and said that she doesn't want to see that when I'm at the gates of heaven, Jesus saying that I turned away from him and that I didn't love him. And really, I know my leader has good intentions with her concern and praying but to me, prayer for 'fixing' homosexuality seems akin to someone going up to a black person and saying 'Oh you poor child! I'll be praying that God fixes you!' *ends neurotic rant* ... For now XD I'll probably be back in about an hour if someone else posts or I remember something I wanted to vent about. Again, thank you all for being so considerate and patient~
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are 31,173 verses in the Bible. I disagree with 6 or 7 of them in particular, or rather, how people have decided to interpret them. Therefore, I disagree with 0.0002% of the Bible. That’s 1/5000th. Can you accept that? ~Snuffy