In all the years I have gone to the Catholic church I have never heard anything anti-gay. Though I now an a member of the Episcopal church, I still am a musician at a Catholic church. There is a great diversity in the church from the almost fundamentalist stance of the Vatican to very affirming congregations.
I agree with you. A real weakness of the celibacy requirement for gays is that it allows the straights apply restrictions to gays that they do not impose on themselves. Also the church believes that celibacy is a gift given to some, not all. To make celibacy a requirement negates the whole concept that it is a gift.
I think a lot of people and a lot of churches are held captive by the past. It is really hard to get people to look at something in a different way when the old way is ingrained in their minds. People believe what they want to believe. I had that struggle in my own mind. Thankfully I am now very much at peace that being gay is pleasing to God and is the way he has created me to be.
I wish you well, my friend.
For I am convinced that neither life nor death...neither the present nor the future nor anything in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39