I recently found out that there's a category for spiritual confusion in the DSM-IV. I think it was put there for people like me. I've never been able to hold on to a consistent set of beliefs for a long time, and in the back of my mind it's always bothered me a little. Right now I'm not sure what I believe. I believe in a higher power, but I don't know if that power has the will or the power to influence our lives in big ways. I believe that Jesus lived and that his teachings have the power to change lives and maybe even the world. I don't believe in the virgin birth, I don't believe in the Trinity or that Jesus was God any more so than myself.
I belong to a Welcoming and Affirming UCC in town, which has given me great joy, and a place to belong. That's something I never really felt in the Church of Christ.
Spiritually I have jumped all over the board, going from conservative Christianity to Wicca, Apathy, Deism, Pantheism, and now just utter confusion. I would like very much to believe in the deity of Christ and the bodily resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth, but I can't, because I don't. This has been a source of stress for me, because I have been struggling with the question of how deal with my arbitrary skepticism when it comes to the supernatural. Though I accept the idea of gods and angels, I can't see my way to a few miracles or strange occurrences.
I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for by posting this, or how coherent it is, but I felt the need to tell somebody a little of what's been going on in my head.
Thanks for listening. Now I need to get to bed. I have church in about five hours, and I'll go crazy if I'm allowed to think for another minute.
Man will never be truly free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.