Thanks for that reminder Rick. I do have a tendency to worry too much about things, and I'm not sure why.
I was taught all my life that the conservative popular theology is correct, and I've always felt drawn to the divine and the metaphysical. I also believe strongly in the teachings of Jesus. For me it's hard to figure out how to connect with the divine outside of Christianity, and I have a hard time with Christianity outside the creeds that I'm expected to believe. I've always wanted a path to follow, a group to belong to. Cutting your own path is scary. It's comforting to walk in the footsteps of another and to imagine that they saw and felt and did the same things you're doing now.
I don't believe in Hell, and even when I did I always assumed that God wasn't so petty as to condemn people for belief or disbelief, but rather our actions should be the criteria by which we are judged, and yet I still find frustration in my lack of belief, because I don't know how to operate without that belief. My beliefs shift so much that I can't define them, which confuses me, and it confuses others. I want to be understood by others, but I don't understand myself, and that bothers me.
Man will never be truly free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.