[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Legendary

[CENTER]
How come some men are happy living an 'ex-gay' life when others are not (former ex-gay)?

Happy? Most of these men are thinking about getting it on with guys and are still attracted to men. Even the ex-gay people say this now. Their 'happiness', if you can call if that, is about not acting gay- having gay sex.

Originally Posted by Legendary

Why is 'masculinity' almost always confined to 'maleness' when attempting to help a man be free of his homosexual desires?

Because ex-gay folks are fixated on gender roles. In their world, real men don't do certain things. Their world is about conformity, not freedom to be who you are.

Originally Posted by Legendary

Does this mean that some people are not meant to be gay? Some therapist would agree that reparative therapy are only for those who want to seek assistance to rid of their unwanted same-sex desires.

No. It's doesn't mean that people are not meant to be gay. The ex-gay world is one where those who have same-sex desires are seen as defective straight persons. Reparative therapy is for people who are coerced into it by religious conservatives.

Originally Posted by Legendary

Is the ex-gay movement an attempt to confine both men and women to the gender binary without the recognizance or inclusion of those who do not fit?

Now you are on to something. Yes. I would agree. The ex-gay movement is about CONTROL and making people adhere to strict notions regarding male & female gender roles.

Originally Posted by Legendary

In order to help a patient change a therapist must know the 'causes of the homosexuality'. What 'caused' you to become homosexual'? I admit I have had a very sexual childhood. I'm now even just getting over my pornographic addiction (I'm 18..since middle school). I used to be a victim of the promiscuity that the stereotypes of homosexual or same sex loving individuals are labeled under by the heterosexual society. Even though I don't think much about my father, I was raised only by by mother but was consistently surrounded by male role models through out my whole life. I can't remember exactly when I began to be attracted to guys but I know it was before I had 'sex' with 2 guys that were 4 and 3 years older then me from the ages of 8-10 (or maybe younger I cant remember). And I have even had experiences with my siblings (girls and guys) in my younger and teen years. Today it seems my mind has put all this history locked away, to the point where all seems ok. But every now and then i think about it and I still don't believe what my life used to be. It frightens me because sometimes I wonder what if the reason I like guys is because of my past. But then I think of how I felt this way even before all this happened. Maybe all the sex at a young age is what caused me to become sexually hyperactive. I don't know. I also remember the many sexual experiences i had throughout high school with guys, as an attempt to find the right one for me. Occasionally today I feel the urges I used to feel as a teen, but it just seems as if everything has slowed way down, and I'm the things that used to bother me don't effect me as much. I think I just grew tired of it. All I know now is that I am only left with so many questions but with very few answers. I'm not hear to be judged just helped. Now that I have come to the realization that I question everything. I feel myself walking away from God. Being afraid or avoiding going to church when I used to be excited. Even gay-friendly churches. My spiritual journey has come to a n abrupt halt.

No one caused me to be gay. And I hardly think that your interest in sex as a kid is deserving of a scarlet letter. I was noticing and fooling around with boys at a young age too. This isn't a matter of being straight or gay btw. Kids are interested in sex when the hormones start doing their thing. And boys- in particular- can be involved in same-sex activity, that is, masturbating together etc.

You might go read Kinsey. It's very informative re same-sex activity.