It takes a long time to change attitudes. Even when an official position is one of acceptance, the attitudes of people cannot be forced to change.
It is distressing that you have not found a truly affirming home in the Episcopal church. I am very fortunate to have found such a place. Being gay seems to be no issue at all for any of the people that I am associated with. Our church has a very small full-time membership. In the summer we are about five times our winter size. I know there are some of the summer members who are not very gay friendly in their attitudes, but they attend our church for only brief periods of time.
The Episcopal church is ahead of most on the gay rights issue. It is not 100% on-board, however. Year by year I see this improve. We gays need to stay the course and change the church from the inside.
I wish you God's blessings on your efforts. Hopefully you will soon find a place that is a perfect fit for you and find people who are wiling to communicate and work with you.
For I am convinced that neither life nor death...neither the present nor the future nor anything in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39