I am Nathan.
I'm so glad I found this website. I'm a 34 year-old gay male and I have basically said "F*** You!" to Christianity and everything involved with it because of the stance I thought the Church has on homosexuality. I was so angry that I was condemned just because I am who I am. I knew at an early age that I was gay and came to grips with it pretty easily. I never doubted my sexuality, I never felt less of a person, I never felt angry that I was gay. But what I was angry at was the fact that I was being demonized because I love a man and not a woman. I felt, "Who are you to put the patent on love? Am I really that bad of a person because I LOVE A MAN? You mean to tell me that I am worse then a murderer? A pedophile? (There is a difference, it pisses me off whenever people clump us all together.) A rapist? Or just a downright thug."
That's when I extended my arm and lifted my middle finger towards heaven and proclaimed loudly, "F*** YOU Then!! If I'm going to hell because I love a man, then so be it. For I would rather burn in hell then to lie to myself!" I figured if I was made in God's image, then why would he put limitations on me from the get go? It made no sense, so I never delved into the teachings, into scripture, or any of it. I stood there with my middle finger in Jesus's face. You know what he did?
He stood there, nodding his head and saying to me in a quiet voice, "But Nathan I do have something to teach you. Nathan?" I was like, "Bah, you have nothing to teach me, how can you teach me anything when you condemn me and cast me aside." So that's what he did for 34 years, he stood there faithfully waiting and nodding his head and smiling. That's what I think anyway.
But here's where everything changed, my Mum (who is extremely supportive of me.) gave me her Jeep. Inside the Jeep was this little booklet entitled, "Bitterness; Weeding out the Poisonous Root." Basically it talks about resolving bitterness against yourself, against others and against God. It was this little booklet that didn't say anything regarding sexuality, mind you. That opened my eyes toward the bitterness I held in my heart againt God and Jesus Christ. Then my eyes fell upon a verse that I so love;
Ephesians 4:31-32; "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with all forms of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you."
My Mum gave me a study bible and I've only perused through it. Then I decided to do my own research into this and that's when I found this website. In closing I just wanted to share that so far what I have personally discovered, is that it's not God or Jesus who condemns me. Its MANKIND, its the pulpit pounders, its the bible thumpers, its those that scream fire and damnation.
So you wanna know what?
I'm officially extending my arm, raising my middle finger and saying, "F*** You! To all those MEN and WOMEN, who condemn me and cast me aside. I know within my heart that God and Jesus loves me for me and that's all I need to know. I sure as heck don't need approval from ANY human being!
Love y'all bunches!! XOXOXO
Nathan C. Whitman