[Daniel]

There was a time when I desperately wanted to be accepted by religious conservatives- and this would include my family. However, I came to see that, not only was this a fools errand, it was also not healthy. I would have had to be something I am not to get that affirmation- that is- I would have had to be straight. But I'm not. I'm gay.

When other people don't accept us, it's their problem, not ours. And as has been said, when a gay person comes out, another person goes into the closet. Sure. Conservatives may say that they accept you with that plastered smile they put on their faces. But if you look closely, you will often see a tenseness around the eyes. What does that say? They are trying to be Ok with things, when in fact, they aren't Ok. The reality is that they have to do much the same sorting out that you did before you came out. The only difference is that they don't have to sort out being gay: they have to sort out all the negative thinking they have inculcated along the way. It's not a easy process for anyone who's grown up religiously conservative. There is a lot to cast off!

The people with heart don't give a rat's ass if you are gay. Their warmth and love speaks for itself even if they can't reason the scripture stuff out. This may indicate that they haven't been paying much attention to all that garbage in the first place. It may also indicate that they have some common sense. Doesn't matter: stick with these people. They will teach you to love yourself.

When you can fill up your own shoes - stand in them fully - you will start to be more concerned about having compassion and love for others rather than being concerned with what they think of you.