An ex-gay leader is a guy who goes to the gay bar to friendship/witness. He invites patrons to join his group in non-threatening activities like camping and volleyball. In down time while camping he can share the love of Jesus in a personal and meaningful way. If there's a little physical contact well, that can hardly be helped while camping or playing volleyball. All this is done while his "wife" is carting the kids around to various activities for school and church.
"Beloved let us tolerate one another. For tolerance is of God and everyone that tolerates is born of God and knows God. He that tolerates not, knows not God for God is tolerance." 1 John 4:7,8