Originally Posted by jbtide
Thank you both for your kind words. I do think for me at this point it is not healthy to obsess about my sexual orientation, but just let things be as they are. At the same time, being open and honest with myself is very liberating. The depressing part is not being able to be open about it with everyone.
I can always find a new church that is affirming of me. I love the people at my old church and go way back with them, but I cannot be part of any institution that is not affirming of me.
A question though. A gay male that I have been talking to online has told me that if I have questions about my sexuality and am sure, that I should try being with a guy-and I don't mean in a dating sense, but in the sexually intimate sense. What do yall think of that? As a conservative Christian, I have always marched to the beat of the "no sex outside of marriage" drum. But I feel the need to be with a man to understand myself and my sexuality better.
I'm not exactly a card carrying Christian at the moment having inculcated at lot of stuff from Buddhist practice - that is - meditation practice. Of course Buddhist's aren't hung up about labels. But this is a whole other discussion.
Sleeping with someone just to affirm your self-perception that you are gay is one way to go. And you wouldn't be the first or the last person to do so: it's normal to want to love and be loved. Personally, I don't buy the idea notion of no sex before marriage. After all, it's a stance that is said more than it is practiced. My own perspective is that being a lover- that is - a person who knows how to make love- is learned behavior. And having a partner that you can trust and with whom you can explore can be very helpful.
If you feel the need, opportunity will present itself eventually.