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Originally Posted by jbtide
A question though. A gay male that I have been talking to online has told me that if I have questions about my sexuality and am sure, that I should try being with a guy-and I don't mean in a dating sense, but in the sexually intimate sense. What do yall think of that? As a conservative Christian, I have always marched to the beat of the "no sex outside of marriage" drum. But I feel the need to be with a man to understand myself and my sexuality better.
Thoughts?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daniel
Sleeping with someone just to affirm your self-perception that you are gay is one way to go. And you wouldn't be the first or the last person to do so: it's normal to want to love and be loved. Personally, I don't buy the idea notion of no sex before marriage. After all, it's a stance that is said more than it is practiced. My own perspective is that being a lover- that is - a person who knows how to make love- is learned behavior. And having a partner that you can trust and with whom you can explore can be very helpful.
If you feel the need, opportunity will present itself eventually.
Be safe!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallit
I'm not a Christian either (duh). i am kinda a "sex in a commited relationship" type of guy. While I understand how you feel, I'm not sure that being with someone just to figure out you sexual orientation is fair or would be good for someone who believes as you do. People aren't cars that you can just take out for a test drive.
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I'm going to jump in on this one. I agree with Tallit, people aren't cars that you test drive. I agree with Daniel, it may be helpful to give it a try. so where is the middle ground?
And ye harm none, do what ye will.
Men are very good at sex for recreation. Women seem to always want that emotional connection. This is very often a problem for straight people. A man cheats on his female partner, gets caught, the partner is crushed, and the guy is baffled. He was playing, the wife is betrayed. gay men, in a sense, have the option of sex for intimacy, or sex for fun, and I think that's why we take a bad rap for being promiscuous.
Now, that all said, would it be a terrible thing if you did have sex with another man, knowing that it was for mutual pleasure, to honor and enjoy each other physically, but with the understanding that it has little or no emotional attachment? The important thing here would be respect for each other. Don't allow yourself to be harmed, don't harm another person. You may be able to find plenty of men to jump into bed with, but that may play into their addictions or problems. but you may also find another likeminded man who just wants to have some fun and be willing to help you. It's not a one-night stand, sex without any kind of respect, that i'm advocating. but I'm also not for "no sex before marriage" because as Daniel pointed out, that rarely is followed.
I say, find a man and get busy! I think you're gonna find that your orientation lies where your attraction is. besides, sex is just a small part of who any of us are.