[jbtide]

Originally Posted by keltic63

I'm going to jump in on this one. I agree with Tallit, people aren't cars that you test drive. I agree with Daniel, it may be helpful to give it a try. so where is the middle ground?

And ye harm none, do what ye will.

Men are very good at sex for recreation. Women seem to always want that emotional connection. This is very often a problem for straight people. A man cheats on his female partner, gets caught, the partner is crushed, and the guy is baffled. He was playing, the wife is betrayed. gay men, in a sense, have the option of sex for intimacy, or sex for fun, and I think that's why we take a bad rap for being promiscuous.

Now, that all said, would it be a terrible thing if you did have sex with another man, knowing that it was for mutual pleasure, to honor and enjoy each other physically, but with the understanding that it has little or no emotional attachment? The important thing here would be respect for each other. Don't allow yourself to be harmed, don't harm another person. You may be able to find plenty of men to jump into bed with, but that may play into their addictions or problems. but you may also find another likeminded man who just wants to have some fun and be willing to help you. It's not a one-night stand, sex without any kind of respect, that i'm advocating. but I'm also not for "no sex before marriage" because as Daniel pointed out, that rarely is followed.

I say, find a man and get busy! I think you're gonna find that your orientation lies where your attraction is. besides, sex is just a small part of who any of us are.

Thanks for your words. I agree alot with the stuff I highlighted in bold. Last thing I want to do is use another person. My ultimate goal is a relationship. I have always believed sex should only take place in the context of a committed relationship (during my more conservative days, marriage only). The two to me are complementary. By no means am I into sleeping around just to figure myself out. You know, several people at my old church who preached "no sex before marriage" I found out slept together while engaged. Makes you think, doesn't it?


I figure that if I get into a relationship with a guy, and he is the one, I will get a sense of fulfillment and we both will desire the intimacy, which never happened with any female before, with me.