Originally Posted by pnggrad79
It is July and she is still gone. I am in Anchorage with my sister and seriously considering moving up here permanently even though I am cold all the time. We have a lot of financial troubles at home that I am leaving her to deal with, and frankly I am just running away from it all. She chose to leave and I guess I did too. I really miss her but hate her all the same.
Is there really any hope for the brokenhearted? Does it ever really go away?
Yes. The pain will grow less in time.
I've had some pretty hard things happen to me in the last couple of years and have been practicing a meditative technique called Tonglen to deal with things. It's not about making the pain go away, but rather, keeping the heart open- having compassion for one's own pain, and that of others.
We go to therapists to help us 'hold' things, give them context, figure things out. But in the end, we have to do this for ourselves. Life doesn't make sense sometimes, at least not the sense we want it to make. We can love others who don't love us back, do things that hurt ourselves and them, and in blindness cause such pain. And it can be hard to stop and just 'be there' with the feelings that arise.
Guess what I am saying here is that the only way to deal with feelings is to have compassion for them. That's what's helped me the most. Compassion gives them some room to breath so that they don't suffocate me.
Tonglen, or some other 'practice' is good medicine. Better than a bottle, a gun, or some other unskillful action. I'll be thinking of as the light comes up here in New York City. May it shine on you.