I think I understand. You had a deep connection to someone that you never had before. It felt so good to be that open with another person that you want the feeling back. Am I on the right track? You are right. It is a rare thing to be that open and vunerable with another person. Cherish those moments. Hopefully they will come again with someone. But you can't force someone to be that open unless they want to be. Recently I had to let go of a close relationship like that. It felt like an amputation. It will heal in time. Did that help?
"Beloved let us tolerate one another. For tolerance is of God and everyone that tolerates is born of God and knows God. He that tolerates not, knows not God for God is tolerance." 1 John 4:7,8