Hi there and welcome. I've felt a lot of what you have and are feeling, minus the dating girls part--I never did that, except twice at junior and senior prom. I remember how I longed to be held by a man, loved and cared for by a man, not a woman. I remember how I'd spent hours fantasizing about guys I had crushes on. It took me a few years, but I knew I was gay by 15. The feelings were just there. They didn't need confirmation via sexual experience, although I did enjoy it when it happened.
I didn't come out till I was 19. I'm 30 now. My mom finally came around and accepted me fully last year--a decade after I told her I who I am. I didn't think it would ever happen, but alas, miracles do occur. Coming out is so important, and you have to listen to your heart to know when it's time. God made you to be a reflection of his love. Whether you love men or women (or both) is not important. I kind of like women as well, but not nearly as much as fellas. I don't know if this will help at all, just rambling. Blessings!
