Hi, Eric. I have felt that same confusion and self-denial. I felt that to "save my soul," I need to "overcome" my sexual orientation. Didn't work too well! When people imprison themselves in a moral/spiritual mausoleum, the consequences can be awful.
Your fellow chipper-awayer-at-the-wall,
"And though I may not know the answers, I can finally say I am free. And if the questions led me here, then I am who I was born to be." --Susan Boyle
"If all fools could fly, the sun would be eclipsed forever." --Dutch proverb