Originally Posted by ireland
Thanks Daniel, im not sure if she is ready for that, iv spent the past few days discussing ways around this problem, she can see no way out. The choice she gave me is to either except things the way they are or we end it.
Really? She did that? Wow. That says volumes. I don't know the person of course, but it sounds a lot like fundi thinking which is very totalitarian. You might keep in mind that she is a product of that kind of stuff. And she's have to sort it all out eventually- or not.
So she is running scared and can't - and won't - deal with things. And the kicker is that she wants you to be available to her, but won't really be available to you. That doesn't make for a relationship. The thing is, parent's are smart: does she really think she can get away with you being her 'best friend' the rest of your lives? Somehow, I don't see how she can pull that lie off for the next 20-30 years. Times HAVE changed. People are much more aware about differences in sexuality, even conservatives.
If you really do not see any way to resolve this, then your only option may be to cease having a relationship. At least for now. That may give her some time to think about it. And I mean REALLY think about it. Once you are out of the picture (and not returning calls for instance), she won't have the luxury of having you at her beck and call. Right now is sounds like you are doing all the lifting and carrying in the relationship. And that is not a pattern that you want to set up as a basis for a relationship with anyone. Real love means doing the right thing. Give and take. And negotiation, not telling you how things are going to be.
This kind of thing breaks one's heart. And my heart goes out to you.