Originally Posted by pnggrad79
I almost swallowed 72 pills today because I was so despondent and wanted some relief of this pain in my chest. Fortunately, my sister opened the door before I could do it and talked me down.
God Help ME!!!!!
No! No, no, no, no, no!!! You will feel differently at another time. Don't give up on life!
PNG, I'm so sorry! You've had a lot of really tough breaks a bunch of times. No wonder you feel so bad. It will NOT last forever.
I was feeling totally trapped and helpless about something (totally different type of thing, but still) last winter, and now after 2 months living in another country speaking another language, it feels so different. I can see why it was tough, but on the other hand, it's changing and I'm looking forward to so much.
Get a support system in 3D. Internet helps, but face to face can mean more - we need that 'real' connection more than we know. Sounds like your sister is a possible support. Who else do you know who you can be with? You need someone who knows what you're going through who can help - nothing better than a pro here, like a therapist or psychologist. But you can also feel so much better just from fun socializing - go to the movies with an acquaintance you'd like to know better. Movies are great when we're down. Go to the theater where there's that big screen, surround sound, and the dark environment, and get totally lost in the story. Go as often as you need to in order to distract your mind from the circling thoughts you're having.
You need a support system to stay healthy and safe, and you need distraction. Find the funnest thing you can think of, especially good if it's something you always wanted to try and never got around to, and go do that!